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By Natalie C

My brother, a non-Scientologist, told me a story recently, of something that had a dramatic impact on him, some 20 years ago. This story changed my brother’s view of the world, of responsibility, and his own role in our family. He has been applying a principle adopted at that time, ever since.

The story was that as a late teenager, my brother had been working for a roofing company where a number of Chilean labourers also worked. One day, after a hot day on a new roof, all the workers headed off for a beer and my brother was invited to the home of the Chilean workers. There, he was surprised to find that the 8 workers were living in a small apartment that was not furnished. Despite being well paid, the workers were sleeping on mattresses on the floor, and did not even have enough chairs for all to sit on.

My brother relayed to me how he had bluntly asked his friends why they were living this way, when they had the money to buy furniture that would make life more comfortable, and they then explained to him that they kept only a meagre amount of their pay and sent the rest home to support their aging parents and younger siblings. In their own country their families did not have the resources or capacity to be able to support themselves – so they had pooled money to send their oldest children to this country. In exchange for this incredible opportunity, the oldest siblings sent the majority of their pay home – and they were not in any way resentful about this. Instead, they explained to my brother that they were proud to do what they could, to honor and respect their parents.

Now my brother told me this story as we were both working, hands-on, to assist my elderly father move from a large rural property to a smaller home in an urban area. In his new home my father will be able to continue his retirement without the problems of his aging body making physical work difficult.  The emotional relief that my dad experienced, as my brother and I worked through each backlog and moved vast amounts of MEST, was clear and visible.  The comfort that he had in knowing that his two children, now grown adults with a family of their own, were here to assist him in his time of need, was also clear.

Now I don’t know that my brother has ever read The Way to Happiness – in fact I am sure he has not. But he is a living example of precept 5 – honor and help your parents.

“From a child’s point of view, parents are sometimes hard to understand.

“There are differences between generations. But truthfully this is no barrier. When one is weak, it is a temptation to take refuge in subterfuges and lies: it is this which builds the wall.

“Children can reconcile their differences with their parents. Before any shouting begins, one can at least try to talk it over quietly. If the child is frank and honest, there cannot help but be an appeal that will reach. It is often possible to attain a compromise where both sides now understand and can agree. It is not always easy to get along with others but one should try.

“One cannot overlook the fact that almost always, parents are acting from a very strong desire to do what they believe to be best for the child.

“Children are indebted to their parents for their upbringing – if the parents did so. While some parents are so fiercely independent that they will accept no return on the obligation, it is nevertheless true that there often comes a time when it is the turn of the younger generations to care for their parents.

“In spite of all, one must remember that they are the only parents one has. And as such, no matter what, one should honor them and help them.

“The way to happiness includes being on good terms with one’s parents or those who brought one up.”  LRH

And this got me to thinking about my own adult life – and how in the Sea Org for many years I had found it not only difficult to stay in regular contact with my parents, but next to impossible. Not only were the communication lines to my family regularly inhibited and restricted – but when I felt moral obligations to assist at times of need (such as when my grandparents passed away) I was not permitted time off to return home for the funerals, nor to be able to support my parents with the loss of their own.

This is one of those all too obvious points where one thing is being preached by Corp Scientology – yet something altogether is practiced.

I have found – in recent years – such pleasure, joy and reward in assisting my parents. And while my recent record does not compare in the least with the work my brother has done in the meanwhile – I feel at least that I am now applying LRH’s precept fully – and my life, and that of my parents is that much better for it. And the story he relayed to me, of men sleeping on mattresses and proud of it – gives me inspiration to do all I can for my folks.

Other iScientology blog articles by Natalie include: http://www.iscientology.org/scientology-blog/422-newborn-stress

Comments   

 
steve
+2 # steve 2013-04-24 06:10
I agree 1000% with this. For over 30 years I had poor relations with my family and it robbed me of my base inlife. It's only because of application Scientology in my life that I finally came to my senses and got into better ARC with my family. Now helping my family members is something I get a lot of enjoyment out of.
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Nickname
0 # Nickname 2013-04-24 08:46
The same is found in Confucius and Christianity (and a lot of other places too). Gotta wonder why, huh?
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Tony DePhillips
+2 # Tony DePhillips 2013-04-24 11:31
Very nice article.

I have found this same type of thing true on many different precepts.
Such as fulfill your obligations and get enough sleep etc.

The cult doesn't really practice what it preaches. For that matter if you study the LRH policy on finances he says to earn it before you spend it and all sorts of very good policy on handling money. Yet the cult has you violate non-stop what would be good policy for oneself.

I brought this up to a Sea Org member once. I asked "Why do you ask us to do things that are clearly off policy " and referred them to the financial policy and I was told that "the green on white only applies to an organization." Right.
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Espiritu
+2 # Espiritu 2013-04-24 16:43
Natalie,

This is beautiful and from the heart. If appropriate, it might be a nice thing to share your whole post with the other members of your family with the purpose of increasing understanding.
And you are right that REAL Scientology does not promote the demeaning or destruction or belittling of family. Quite the opposite. One of its most important purposes and uses is to enhance the well-being of families. It is truly a crying shame for the world that the Church of Scientology is run by a bunch of "squirrels" who do not personally pursue this and other noble purposes of the subject. Very well done on carrying on and being true to the purposes of Scientology yourself.
And here's a little something for you: an excerpt from one of my favorite LRH quotes:
KINDNESS: Our Most Valuable Asset
(OEC Tape: Attitude and Conduct of Scientology, 3 November 1955)
"Well, I hate to unsettle a very stable datum, if it does unsettle it. But the only way anything ever does resolve is by letting your own kind heart reach through. That's the only way it ever does solve.
"And it never solves by being tough. And believe me, ladies and gentleman, here talks a guy who in his college days was a top sergeant of the reserve marines, who drilled battalions. And when I tell you that it doesn't pay to be tough, I've had experience.
An officer in the war, and I can tell you that at no time, at no time during the entire war, did I ever see toughness win either in the field of discipline, the field of efficiency, or the field of getting a job done. I have never seen it win.
…There is no substitute for liking people like liking people. There's no substitute for reality like reality. There's no substitute for communication like communication with good affinity and good reality."
....."The only thing we have of value, actually, is Scientology, an understanding of life, increasing ability to communicate, a good concept and grip on reality, and the ability to like guys. That's all you got." - LRH
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Natalie C
0 # Natalie C 2013-04-24 16:57
Espiritu - thank you so much for that LRH quote. I have heard that lecture several times, a long time ago, and I had completely forgotten about that gem! Thank you!
Natalie.
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Jim Logan
+2 # Jim Logan 2013-04-24 16:45
It sure is nice to hear of life wins, successes and relationships going right with the very basic principles of ARC, especially comm going two way.

Thanks Natalie for such a wonderful sphere of influence making it a better place to live :-)
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SKM
0 # SKM 2013-04-24 17:07
This is a nice article. Thank you.

I have had also only little contact with my parents and siblings while in corp. Scn and I am glad this is no longer the case.
We only feel alive with communication and the feeling of being helpful to those we love.
I am working on a time consuming project with my younger brother now, helping him with school and I am very happy about it. I really enjoy it - although I don't really have the time - it does not matter, as the exchange is "pay for living".

I am also grateful for the tools I learned from LRH because they are very useful in helping family and in understanding of situations.
It's funny how much Scientology you start to apply if there is no "authority" watching you all the time.

Thanks again for the nice article.
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Tony DePhillips
+1 # Tony DePhillips 2013-04-24 19:06
I wanted to share a win.

The other day I was driving on the freeway and behind me there was a Highway Patrolman. It was a beautiful day and my anchor points were way out. I could "feel" all the other cars around me and I could feel the tenseness from the other drivers. The tone level noticeably dropped. I still kept my space and confronted the area. The next thing that happened is that the cop pulled someone over. He turned his lights on and the other car pulled off the freeway to get his ticket or whatever. Instantly I felt a big blowdown from the other drivers and the tone level shot up into cheerfullness. It just reminded me that I am a thetan and that I am able to percieve many good things. I got a lot from the Scientology philosophy. I am thankful for many of may experiences with the tech.
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Tony DePhillips
0 # Tony DePhillips 2013-04-24 19:08
Just a side note.
On the cryptic thing you have to copy at the end of your post. Is there some reason that the numbers and letters need to be bent out of shape? I see no reason why they couldn't be easily legible and therefore easier to copy. Maybe I'm missing something?
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Thoughtful
0 # Thoughtful 2013-04-24 20:04
Tony, that is normal. It's to keep out automated spammers.
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Tony DePhillips
0 # Tony DePhillips 2013-04-24 23:07
Thanks Steve.
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Thoughtful
+2 # Thoughtful 2013-04-24 20:03
What a great story. This is so true and how many staff members have suffered horribly by being forced to ignore and even disconnect from their parents, family and old friends as a price to pay for helping to improve the planet. It makes you wonder, would it even be possible to help the planet by hurting oneself and one's family. I would say the answer is no. I think like begets like. Harm begets harm. Help begets help.

Posts like these are essential as the voice of common sense reaches out to realign Scientology back to itself. Why aren't Sea Org members allowed to communicate freely with their parents and even visit them regularly? It is a false economy to think there's not enough time. Under the current regime staff have essentially only one dynamic ad skip the rest, and as a result, they get absolutely zero production done... actually they create continuous overt products. Obviously any staff could work 5 days a week, with plenty of time for study and free time and their production would rocket. Because you'd have happy, free people doing the work. Instead of slaves.
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Espiritu
0 # Espiritu 2013-04-25 01:18
You are so right, Steve.
This comm cutting behavior is just one more indicator that Miscavige is an SP.....as if any more were necessary. And as you point out, it has been justified so "believably". "Economy". "Security". Bullshit.
As you may remember, there was a time when Sea Org members had leaves, vacations, family time, and were encouraged to keep in good comm with their families. But, unfortunately, that was a long time ago.
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SKM
0 # SKM 2013-04-25 04:57
Quoting Thoughtful:

Posts like these are essential as the voice of common sense reaches out to realign Scientology back to itself. Why aren't Sea Org members allowed to communicate freely with their parents and even visit them regularly? It is a false economy to think there's not enough time.

I think this is a dramatization of Miscavige. Since he destroyed LRHs familiy, it's absolutely OK for him to destroy families from "mere" members. No family time, no visits, no communication.
And I also think Miscavige has abandoned children in the Sea Org because he is afraid some of the old-timers will be reborn in the Sea Org.
It makes absolutely no sense for us, but when did an SP make any sense to anyone? We can understand the mechanisms he uses, but does it really make sense? Nope.
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Ingrid Smith
+2 # Ingrid Smith 2013-04-25 00:36
My first big win in Scientology was getting into ARC with my mother whom I had been estranged from for a number of years. I had lost so much charge on her in the first few months of Scientology that I blew her away with my ARC and we have been best friends ever since.
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roger weller
+3 # roger weller 2013-04-25 04:45
my wife may is from thailand, she has the same ideas,and supports her family,she is very happy giving to her family,her older sisters worked hard when she was young so she could attend school.now she helps them.
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Sparks
0 # Sparks 2013-04-26 00:01
I enjoyed this article for many reasons, thank you for writing it, Natalie C. Your brother's observations about his fellow workers, and how it resonated with him that they lived by a duty and honor by which they gladly cared for their parents -- even though he had not read about it in Way To Happiness -- indicates that Truth is, indeed universal.

In Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard observed much truth -- observed, as distinctly different from created. He observed the universal goodness of human beings. He observed and analyzed mechanics of communication, of work, control, emotions, of study, learning, trauma.

What Hubbard did create were tools (processes) and writings and a methodology that, through specific application, assists and enables people to resolve and remove obstructions to truths. Truths of which individuals consist. Truth that have been ours since before time. Truths and character and nature that are shared beyond diversity.


It's a supreme arrogance of many members in the institution calling itself Scientology that they own truth, that they own others, that they are better than others. Hubbard didn't have that attitude -- one particularly striking quality of L. Ron Hubbard is his respect for human beings. That respect is evidenced in the time and care he took to write his findings, to create and provide exercises with impeccable diligence to detail and smooth gradients.

Corporate Scientology takes Way To Happiness, for example, and fumigates it and the "sacred texts" with incense and kneeling pews and condescending superciliousness. All vias and off purpose.

The truth is that truth and spirit are universal and Belong to Each Individual. No individual is beholding to any other for the Truth that is one's very own Nature!

Scientology, practice and processes, serves those truths. And that is what so many respond to ---it's a recognition of universal truth -- when they embrace it. Unfortunately, today, Scientology as an instrument of truth has been hijacked by big-business to bait hooks --obviously evident because, as many here point out, the practices of the Scientology Organization violate their very own purported dogma. Plain and simple. Period.

Natalie, I rejoiced reading about your joy caring for your parents. Because really, the underlying greatest simplicity about Life is Love.
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