by Thoughtful

April 2012: Just a few of the Independent Scientologists of Dallas
who met for coffee to discuss plans to open a center.


One day in December of 2008 I was pacing in my office.

For nearly a year I had been trying to understand what had happened. Nothing about it computed.

Hadn't I just given 25 years of my life to Scientology? 20 years in the Sea Org working at the highest levels as the creative force behind Scientology's best marketing? I left in March 2004 because Miscavige was trying to induct me into his beat-down club so I could have daily beatings along with Mike Rinder, Mark Yager, Guilaume Leserve and Ray Mithoff — his favorite punching bags. I went to the trouble to play nice and route out so I wouldn't be declared and was rewarded by being declared anyway. After 20 years I got $500 and a "Freeloader bill" for $82,000. Oh, and they kept my wife. Oh, and they killed my unborn child. So wait... lemme get this straight. I volunteer to help make the world a better place. I produce my ass off (in one 6 month period two videos I wrote earned some $60+ million for the Church according to Diana Hubbard which she announced to the entire Int base), they get 20 years of my life, they get to keep my wife, and my unborn child and now I'm cut off from everyone in Scientology AND I owe them $82,000?

I felt like a nobody. I had no contact with anyone in Scientology. No pull or influence on anything that was going on in Scientology. I had no power. I was no longer on staff. I was supposedly not allowed to say I was a Scientologist. I couldn't talk about my past or apparently the Church would own me for millions of dollars. No one cared about my opinion because no one knew who I was. I had been completely cut off. As far as the Church was concerned, I no longer existed or mattered.

Meanwhile Dave Miscavige's giant demonized corporate eating machine had kept right on eating... demolishing lives, crushing staff, holding huge crazy events with fake crowds to fill seats, writing long crazy speeches, flooding out crazy promo, buying enormous buildings they didn't need. And stealing millions to fund the insanity. And offending the world. And forcing staff to abort their children. And splitting up thousands of families. And manipulating politicians and movie stars and VIPs into speaking at their events, speaking in videos, and giving them awards.

In terms of potential, I kinda thought I had some. But that was an awful small voice saying it. It was only me saying so. I was just a guy living in Dallas. One of millions. I had no power Rolodex, belonged to no clubs, I didn't live in the snooty part of town, I had no savings. After years of poverty on staff, it still was uncomfortable to spend more than $5 on a meal. And that guy is going to change the giant killing, crushing, eating Church of Scientology with organizations all over the world, translating everything into 15 languages, bla bla bla?

When you make $46 a week (if you even get paid) and you need at least $20 for gas, and maybe $15 for shampoo or socks or pens, that leaves about $10 for Blue Corn chips which is a little more than a dollar a day. But if you are also trying to save up some money so you can pay for car insurance, that cuts it back down to less than a dollar a day for anything to eat if you don't like the food or if you get hungry between lunch and dinner or at 3 am when you have to stay up all night writing crazy video scripts. So spending over $5 on a meal, it still makes me squirm a little.

After I left the Church in 2004, I eventually got a job working for my half-brother (making a whopping $26,416 a year). And quickly turned my first few $508 paychecks into a used car and an apartment (with no furniture in it). I didn't have a bed so I slept on the floor for a few days until I could afford to buy a bed. I had spent a lot of time sleeping on floors at the Int base.

I was shocked to discover that, because I'd been on staff in the Sea Org for 20 years, that I had no credit. Before I joined the Sea Org, I had excellent credit. but that was 20 years earlier. So my beautiful 70-year-old mom helped me by co-signing my first loan so I could buy a used car — a cute little Z3 BMW. My apartment was $725 a month. My car payment was $432 a month.

My salary was established like this: I was asked to add up all my monthly expenses plus a little extra. That came to $26,416. So that's where my salary was set. It wasn't much, but it was a lot more than nothing. Besides, who else would hire me? Here was my resume: Steve Hall, 46, marketing pro who worked for a cult for 20 years. Never finished college. But really intelligent with amazing potential.

I could hear the reaction of a job interviewer (maybe played by Robert De Niro): "Heeey, if youse was such a genius 'ow come you woiked for a cult for 20 years and now got nothin'? NOTHIN!"

And that guy was going to do something about an international maze of corporations with billions in cash?

"Heeey, okay lookie. Number one, you gotta stop smoking crack."

In December 2007 I had bought a domain name — www.scientology-cult.com — on sheer intuition that I needed to have it for some reason. Hitting bottom did one thing for me: it got me into tune with my own inner voice. When it spoke, I listened.

I had a vague idea at the time for a website that sounded bad but was really good. Scientology's repute was so shot I already knew the only way to even open a discussion about Scientology was by acknowledging the problem. But when I got the domain, I had no idea beyond that vague notion of what to do with the site. I spent the entire next year analyzing, reading what other people wrote about the Church, and infiltrating the Church of Scientology of Dallas as a normal person to see what it was like to be a public Scientologist in the modern day (since my last experience as a public Scientologist was in 1983 before I joined the Sea Org).

So there I was, one person. All by myself. What effect could I possibly create on the Church? Why even try?

I thought about it a lot that year. But on that day in December 2008 I stopped pacing as clarity struck and I knew what had to be done — something that no one else had done — speak out as a Scientologist to expose and condemn the source of the suppression in the CoS. That was pulling the sword out of the damn stone.

I started that night.

But I didn't do it because I had been victimized. We ALL were victimized.

I did it because I wanted to help.

Because ethically it was the right thing to do.

One of the ways I survived the insanity at the Int base was by becoming super educated on the subject of Scientology. Not only was I Clear and OT, auditor trained, admin trained, exec trained, ethics trained, but I had read every book multiple times (because I was the one who marketed EVERY product in Scientology and you can't market unless you KNOW the product), and going even beyond that I started methodically listening to every LRH lecture that had been published to date. Everything from the 1950s, I studied. It took years. Years. And what an amazing path of discovery.

I listened on my way to the base each morning (about 15 minute drive), and again on my way home. I listened at breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner. And I listened on Saturdays during "renovations" and on Sunday morning during cleaning time. My understanding of life and the world shot so far beyond anyone at the Int base it was not even funny. If you want to know how I have been able to accomplish what I have done, that's how.

Anyway, one night I was listening to a lecture from around 1960 — the time period when LRH was researching the subject of Help. It was on cassette and now I don't remember which lecture series it came from. Eventually I will find it. But LRH said an amazing thing (and I'm paraphrasing from memory): "There is evidence to indicate that the dynamics ARE Help. Because when you stop helping the dynamics, they disappear." He went on to elaborate and explain the datum, but it is easy to demonstrate to yourself. If you stop helping on any dynamic, that dynamic vanishes. And conversely all you need to do to make a dynamic come into bloom IS START HELPING along that dynamic.

I will let that sink in a minute. The ramifications are mind boggling for here is the key to unlock everything.

Though I haven't found that lecture, I have found others that say basically the same thing. From the London Congress on Dissemination and Help, Some Aspects of Help, 30 Jun 1960,

The most fundamental button man has is Help. And that button which can be most easily tampered with or upset or aberrated in man is Help. ...When Help is straightened out in an individual, his IQ goes up. Now there's a fascinating one for anyone whether he's philosophically inclined or technically inclined or anything else.

Not only does his IQ go up, but his freedom, of course, and belief and confidence in himself increase. Help is the button which can just be knocked to pieces or reestablished in the individual.

Now just from that little bit it explains why, when a being begins to Help — he immediately gains more personal resources to do the job he is setting out to do. He gets smarter, he gets more freedoms, his belief is strengthened, and his confidence increases. But there's more:

Well, apparently, apparently, the reason we're alive is to help.

...This help button is as dead as the person is dead, you see, you can tell how dead the person is by how little they can help and its actually a direct coordination. It's one of the wildest things you ever wanted to study in your life. It's too stupidly simple for any great philosopher ever to notice, you see. That's how come I can come along and think of it. It's just too silly.

Fellow says, "What is the reason for life?" Oddly enough, the apparent answer to the thing, the apparent answer to the thing, if he wants a very finite, basic reason, is to help people.

 In his next lecture in the series, called "Help" of 7 Jul 1960 LRH explained it further:

The reason life is life and people are together and grass grows and trees grow and apparently the rain falls and everything else, is because it helps somebody.

I don't know who cries when a hurricane blows too loud and blows everybody up, but I do know that you probably wouldn't have any wind at all if it didn't help somebody. You get the idea?

LRH goes on to explain that when a person can no longer Help, is when he begins to view Help as betrayal. That explains why so many people love the Indie movement because we are doing something about the problem, but on the fringe are always a few who constantly speculate with conspiracy theories that Marty and Mike and myself are just waiting for the Church to collapse so Scotty from Star Trek can magically beam us all back to the Int base where we were imprisoned for so many years, where people were tortured, where my friends DIED, where people were humiliated and punished on a daily basis, where a corporation intervened in my marriage to steal my wife and have my unborn child murdered, where my friends were physically beaten, where people committed suicide — the home of our worst nightmares, the home of walking filth like Tommy Davis, the abode of a suppressive group? And there, apparently Marty and Mike and I are going to change back into our polyester nut-job Sea Org uniforms, move into a 200 sq ft shoe box, and show up for morning muster before picking up where Dave Miscavige left off to resume doing all the same crazy things he is doing?

Personally I think it's OSA that spreads those kinds of rumors intentionally. Factually, spreading rumors IS their program. But get their mentality. They believe this shit. Anyone who would even imagine such insanity has a real broken problem with Help. Why would anyone (me) leave their beautiful, free, happy, wonderful life AGAIN to go back to to a hell hole — and here's the kicker — when they don't have to?

There are no conspiracy theorists worse than those from the Int base. They live in delusion. Whisper, whisper... "Pssst — Steve Hall, you know... he'd probably like to call the shots, you know, for Scientology marketing!" Hey bitches, just in case someone hasn't noticed, I AM CALLING THE SHOTS. I'm already doing it. Have been doing it for nearly four years and from the comfort of my own home. And so is Marty. So is Mike. So is Dan Koon and John Aaron Williams. So is Jim Logan. So is Haydn and Lucy James. So is Karen. So is Sinar. So is every Independent Scientologist. As I said elsewhere in this website, the Church of Scientology is dead and gone. They dug their own grave and then buried themselves in it. They got nothing but "corpse money." You know what corpse money is? The more you spend, the more you're dead.

Except for an occasional muffled groan from beneath their tombstone, they are gone. We won. Truth won. It's over.

Okay, it's a silly conspiracy theory, but their problem stems from damaged Help. People who are messed up on Help believe that help = betrayal. So anyone doing anything to help — shout him down! Whatever.

But back to our main thread, this article was supposed to be about groups. What does my story have to do with Help?

Look what happened. Nobody knew who I was. I out-flowed Help, Marty out flowed Help, Mike joined in and he out-flowed Help, and now we have a world-wide GROUP recognized by governments, dominating the media, growing rapidly where less than four years ago there was absolutely nothing.

In Dallas, one by one I met with people disillusioned with the CoS. We'd meet at Starbucks and I'd answer questions for 5 or 7 hours non-stop and then go home. I was helping them and it felt good. By filling in the blanks and giving them stable datums they started to shake off the invalidations of years. Now we're all friends. Every one of those people grew stronger fast and now in Dallas we have a GROUP. Some of us had a meeting last April. They wanted to form another group and so they did and now we have the McKinney Life Improvement Center. Another started a group on Facebook — Independent Scientologists of Texas, with 41 members now.

A group starts with the desire to Help and is born from actual Help. With that, there is only one more step, which comes from HCO PL, 5 July 1957,


The group that grew from what Marty and I started had a simple purpose: expose the abuses of the Church and help others understand what happened.

What should your purpose be? It's whatever lights your fire.

Right now we need tech-trained people to provide Scientology auditing and training to those who cannot get Standard Tech inside the Church because (1) the Church no longer delivers Standard Tech and (2) the Church will not accept anyone who refuses to worship David McRavage.

We need auditors. We need supervisors. We need disseminators. We need groups delivering Standard Tech. Charge whatever you like. The Church is out of the picture entirely. Their opinions, their demands, their certificates are irrelevant.

Nobody can stop you from wearing your hat in life. I'm still wearing my hat as a disseminator and marketer. The Church cannot stop me. Marty is still wearing his hat as the senior Ethics terminal. The Church cannot stop him. Mike is still wearing his hat. The Church cannot stop him.

And all for a very good reason. Nobody on earth can stop you from Helping others. In HCOB 2 May 1985, LRH wrote an incredible definition of responsibility:


 Not all the David Miscavige's in the world can stop you from wearing any hat you want to wear. Why quit just because they did something. Just pick up your hat as a Scientologist and go around, over, or through them. From OEC Vol 0,


This of course is a rather savage and brutal datum for it thrusts aside all justification, reasonableness, excuses and even does not take into account the size or obstacles of the opposition.

But please note that the datum is not "are things all right around him" as this is a passive test and could mean only that he was simply sitting still.

Whether things are currently all right or not is beside the point. The thetan who is making things go right may be tackling a mountain of confusion and of course things are not all right because what he is attacking is mainly wrong. It is whether or not he is making things go right in spite of "hell or high water" that is the test.

Many beings live lives of quiet correctness without ever once making anything do anything. Things around them just happen to be orderly. The social system props them up. But someday — bang — the society gets into a turmoil which knocks out the props. THEN we see that there were too few present who could MAKE things go right and that is the end of the society.

That describes exactly what happened in the Church. Too many people coasted along, supported by the system. Then someone (David Miscavige) knocked out the props and everything collapsed. Now we are MAKING things go right. Some of us get badmouthed, so what? We are tackling a mountain of confusion. What are they doing?

One might also ask, "What is meant by right?"

This would be forwarding a purpose not destructive to the majority of the dynamics.

And right there we have our datum for starting groups: forwarding a purpose TO HELP. That's all it takes. Neither myself nor Marty started out to create a group. Ever. We just wanted to help people and started doing providing HELP. And in every case, LIFE appeared overnight — GROUPS in Dallas, GROUPS in Texas, GROUPS around the world.

Now consider aberration in a forceful way. A person looks, then an opposing force to him pushes aside his gaze or distracts it. But the really sane, forceful person looks right on through and past the opposition and sees what is there anyway.

...Mr. S rolls a ball from A toward B. Opposition X diverts the ball toward C. Mr. S pulls the ball back into line and despite, over and through Opposition X arrives at B anyway.

What hat did you want to wear in Scientology? What was it you wanted to do? Refuse to be diverted. Here's how it went for me: Mr Steve rolled out marketing to drive people up the Bridge planet wide. Opposition Miscavige stopped all marketing, destroyed management, knocked everyone off hat, changed the purpose of the Church from HELP to MONEY and destroyed the repute of Scientology world wide. Mr Steve pulled out of the Church, got a bulldozer, worked out new marketing strategy to directly attack the source of the problem, and started rolling it out right from his living room despite, over and through Opposition Miscavige. Marty did the same thing. You can do the same thing.

Think of what you want to do in Scientology.

You are on this planet to HELP.

The world operates on HELP because it is made of HELP.

The world is not a matrix of lies (betrayal) THE WORLD IS A MATRIX OF HELP.

The inhale and exhale of life is HELP.

Start breathing HELP and you will come alive.

From HCO PL 29 Oct 1959, Issue II, SERVICE,

Use the rules until they prevent you from doing your job. But if these stop you, then to hell with the rules! Get the show on the road!

— Thoughtful



Mark Elliott
+3 # Mark Elliott 2012-10-13 23:02
Great article Steve. We're doing just what you suggest here in Washington State too. Auditing, training and helping any way that works. I will forward a link to any who will benefit from reading this.

Mark Elliott
Robin Rhyne
+3 # Robin Rhyne 2012-10-14 09:48
Help? 1950 all over again? What a wondrous sense of joy to contemplate all this creation!
Roy Selby
+3 # Roy Selby 2012-11-05 18:56
Excellent article Steve, very inspiring. We have the group "Global Freedom Center" here in LA County-we deliver training and internships to Class VI, Original OT Levels, OT Reviews, Ned For OT's Level V, VI and VII, and also the Data Series Evaluator's Course and the Org Exec Course. These admin courses are very valuable, and almost lost tech in the knowledge, responsibility and control of any business or Organization. Email me at for more information!
+3 # Thoughtful 2012-11-05 19:53
I'm going to add your group to the links given on this website.
+3 # Henny 2012-11-08 19:24
Dear Steve, I love your article and Iam so thankful what you made happen afterwards, not to go in grief .. not be victim anymore, to fight back, for LRH, for the truth and for all of us!! Great!!
I read your article on the german wordpresspage "treffpunkt" and found the link there. I wrote you an e-mail days ago on the email adresse written on scientology-cult, but I think you did not get it.. I would like to resend it to you personally, to inform you about a project what I hope you are interested in.. thank you very much and go on like this,Henny
+2 # Thetalibre 2012-11-17 17:26
"You are on this planet to HELP.

The world operates on HELP because it is made of HELP.

The world is not a matrix of lies (betrayal) THE WORLD IS A MATRIX OF HELP.

The inhale and exhale of life is HELP.

Start breathing HELP and you will come alive."

WOW... Your article is a shower of theta!

Thank you so much for all you do... Helping mankind!

Chris Mann
# Chris Mann 2013-04-12 08:19
The picture does have the feel of the old Dianetics foundation pictures.

Just an adventuresome group of people without all the group mass built up.
# cova 2015-01-01 15:48
Does anyone knows a training center to study the SHSBC in Europe? Apart from the Ron,s Org
# Dio 2016-03-03 10:26
Cova, I don't see that anyone replied to you, re center in Europe other than Ron's org: In case you haven't found one yet, here is one in Spain: www.karmaclearing.org/
# Dio 2016-03-02 10:35
Always keep in mind that in Scientology: A New Slant on Life,chapter: How to study a science,(there are several versions of this article) Ron said, in my words, that if all you can do is to parrot me,it is a form of insanity (he was polite and called it a slight aberration). He was evidently fed up with people parroting him. He said go and do your own research. Think for yourself. Look for yourself. See for yourself. Be your own person. Do not see what I said is there. See what you see there. He said read and study all data of comparable magnitude in the known universe. Study people,life and families for your self. Be impartial. Or be partial only to the truth, the highest truth possible. Get your own understanding. Don't put what I said there. Ask yourself, what do I actually see there? Question everything? Complete your own cycle of learning, get your own understanding, and build your own bridge, build a better bridge. If you can't build a better bridge, you flunked scientology. Read that whole book. It is one of the best. Actually read all the books from cover to cover. There are over 25 of them. Question everything? Ask yourself: Is this true? Is this what i see in the real world? If not, what do I see?
# TooHappyByFar 2016-03-05 08:20
Well done for still helping. Now do exactly what you want to.
# Randy 2019-07-23 01:35
Hi Steve,

Great article there! It really resonated with me on many levels, no pun intended! I'd love to add my little bit of help to the cause, the one of helping people become more aware, increasing their havingness levels, making their life better in ways that make them more able to help others.

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